A Suburban City Girl in A Small Town

Moment by moment……


on July 31, 2011

A friend of mine and I were discussing perfection. We’re always searching for it. The perfect mate. The perfect house. The perfect body. When perfection cannot be attained, we find ourselves at a fork in the road. One way is labeled “It’s someone else’s fault why I’m not perfect”; the other is labeled “It’s always my fault (and mine alone) why I’m not perfect and since I’m not perfect, I must be nothing.”

I venture to say most of us choose the second path. We follow our insecurities and that voice inside of us that says we can’t be who we really want to be. Resignation is always easier because there’s no effort in it. We don’t have to look at ourselves in the mirror and find the courage to change what we can change and literally accept what we cannot. It’s really just a cute saying or a proverb or an inspirational phrase. It’s about stepping over our analytical selves into the realm of simplicity. Finding simple truths in that which we make so difficult is often where we fail the most.

I’ll be bold and say that most of those who take the first road do it out of immaturity because our imperfections are always our  responsibility to act upon. The time to place blame on others and on circumstances is long past. The reluctance to accept responsibility is the same as saying they have reached the pinnacle of perfection in their lives and need no further tweaking. I don’t believe that’s possible.

So now allow me to enter the equation the subject of happiness. Most believe perfection equals happiness. A recent conversation with my daughter revealed her opinion that all models must be happy because they have perfect bodies. They are thin, ergo they are perfect, ergo they are happy. It’s an interesting place to be in as I try to teach my twelve-year-old daughter to define personal happiness and perfection for herself.

You see, it’s not that we all can’t be perfect but we must define perfection each for ourselves. Once done, then we must accept that your idea of perfection is not always going to agree with mine AND THAT’S OK. For example, your idea of perfection may be a size 2. I however will never be a size 2 but I know that I can be a size 12 or 14. Learn to understand there’s more to each of us than just our physicality. Because honestly, you may have a perfect body at 20 years old but come 40 or 45, after you’ve had a few children, your body will not be the same. However, it will be beautiful and it will be perfect if it fits with your idea of perfection. Our idea of perfection is never the same. It should always be changing, reaching to new heights, new glories! We should learn to value our perfection being different; it’s what makes us each unique. Quite frankly, I’m far to busy enjoying being myself to want to be any of you!

The world may look at me and see a size 18/20 woman and write me off as being lazy, or even ugly. Go ahead. You who think like that about me won’t define me. You who think like that won’t define my daughter. She will find her definition of perfection and she will strive to be that for herself. And when she’s ready to share her beauty and perfection with the world, you who only see a size 2 will never understand her. How sad
for you who will miss out all the wonderful laughter she will bring.

My perfection is within myself. Call me fat…call me what you want. You will not define me. You will not change me for I change only for myself. You will not cause me to cease to exist but know this: I can make you disappear and with a turn of my head erase you from my life. It will not matter to me because it’s not you that I’m working for. And each time I meet a level of perfection, I set the bar higher, creating new goals to achieve. I will achieve them all. There is no doubt of that.

So look inside yourself, Emilie. Look deep down and know that you are beautiful because you don’t look like your friends. I thank God for that because you were made to look just like you. Your beautiful brown eyes and olive complexion are glorious. Woman pay hundreds for your hair color and the exotic glow you have to your perfect skin makes you unique. There’s no one else like you, baby. Rejoice in who you are;
rejoice in how wonderfully you were made, set the bar high but keep it within your reach and know that those people in your life who are with you will always be with you. Those who are not with you cannot stay. That’s ok, little girl. It’s ok.

Mama loves you.


4 responses to “Perfection

  1. The T says:

    Some people don’t require a girl that fits some magic size…we require an amazing heart and a sense of reason… so let’s try not to lump all of us guys into the same bucket….

    Some of us love a girl who is a 12-14…we find them fun and amazing…even when we tend to date girls who are 4-6 sized dresses…. all women have something amazing to offer, she’s gotta believe in herself and her qualities outside of her size…



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: